I feel hollow right now. Like I'm made of empty. I want to curl up in my bed and not take any visitors. Except there is no visitors, but if there were, I could deny them to make myself feel better. I guess. Pah.

I feel like I don't want to be around people but maybe I'm just subconsciously thinking that because there really isn't anyone that wants to be around me. I'm really bad at making friends. I've never really been as aware of it as I am now. It's never really bothered me until now-- just surrounded by people all over who are friends. At my parent's house it's more of, oh, if I'm alone it's fine because I'm not constantly on the outside of people laughing, hanging out and being around each other and everything. Part of me really wants to be with them, just laughing. But I don't know how and I'm pretty sure the most of me really doesn't want to, either.

My classes this semester seem nice, from the ones I've experienced so far.
Psych 281 looks joyful. I talked to the girl I sat next to, but I don't know her name. She was nice, I guess. Psych 265 is good. Going to be hard, maybe I can talk to the people around me. But I don't know. Mrr.
Phil 150 is kind of depressing because its in a huge lecture hall. There's this one really cool looking girl who has half a buzz cut and really interesting hair. I think she's a freshman. I want to talk to her but I don't know how to. She sits in the back corner, maybe I'll sit near there. But she doesn't look too incredibly social. Maybe I'll just creep on her, majorly. My phil 377 looks pretty neat-- there's this one girl who looks gay. And a really pretty girl named Pia who has a nape piercing that looks really cool. Everyone in that class is older than me, I think, but whatever, I don't care.

I wish people would just talk to me, I hate being the first one to have to talk to anyone, ever, ugh. I'm so bad at social. I have my first day back at work today, which is going to be returning caller training and then calling right after-- so yeah. I'm scared of that too because it's a lot of phone social out of nowhere since I haven't done it for so long. Mrrrrrrr. I hate social. And no friends.
Casey might get a telefund job! That'd be awesome.

Mrrrr.
Mrrrrrrrr, mrrr. I want this week to be over but at the same time what am I gonna do on the weekend? Ah well. Mrr.