so.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/25/santa.shooting/index.html

My god. 

I feel horrible. I feel really bad for the guy too- who does that? What drives a person to that? What was his life like, his thoughts, was his head really that bad and dark and awful? Was his world like monsters, did he think he was protecting himself, making it better for him?

How does it get that bad for some people? How can you go so low? It's gut wrenching to think about, to think someone is capable of doing something like that. I never really believe it even though it is on the news, in the papers, on the tips of tongues- 

Oh, I'd give just about anything to go back, just, talk to this man. He must have been in so much pain inside, it must have been so dark, the world must have been such big monsters. I wish I could have gone back and said that the world really isn't like that at all, even though sometimes it feels like it for some people some days. No one's alone even though alienation seems to be a common part of today's society. No one should have to feel so much dark and bad. 

I really, really truly think that everyone is good, some more deep down then others, even if for some people it is painful and scary and the world is monsters to them more than others. 

Everyone must remember when they were five, right? 

I don't understand the world. But everyone must be good even if it doesn't make sense. 

I'm really torn up.