i was out walking and needed to see the moon.

i was with these people i didn't know, i don't even know their names. besides casey, i guess. it was some of her new friends or whatever. it was me, her, another girl, and two other guys.

so basically somewhat of a crowd.

i didn't like the guys.

they were making fun of me for trying to find the moon. And it was in a way where it was like, "ok, you're a freakin' weirdo."

Uhh. K. 

I hate that because when I'm doing something I actually have a reason. It might not be one you understand or believe in or could possibly understand, but for me its legit. I think I'll be truly happy here when I can find people who ask questions if they don't understand me or just shut up. Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.

I could go hang out some more and actually have some social interaction but you know what, fuck that. I don't want to anymore. I think I'll go outside and sit in the grass or maybe do laundry or maybe bake a motherfuckin' cake. Shitshitshitfuck.

I'm so angry I don't even know. 

I think I might be the only one in my dorm right now. Everyone else is out.

I think I want to cry but I won't. Because yeah, fuck.

I'm going to go find a baggie of salt and maybe some sugar, 

and fuck, I think I might bake a cake.

I hate this feeling so much. I need to find some people I can relate with or I'm going to crack. It hasn't been bad at all up until right this second. Fuck those guys.

I wish I knew the guy from my psych class. Because I would call him and say "HEY WE WENT ON THAT ROAD TRIP TOGETHER" and then we (and his friends) would elegantly sip wine together because we're winos. Or something.

Fuck this being shy thing. Fuck it.

And those other guys too. Fuck them. Ugh, fuck everything while I'm at it I guess.

I don't think I'm mad anymore. Now its just kind of nothing. But oh well. I don't even know. I'm so excited to go home and see everyone so at least I have that.

Then when I come back again I'll be cool. 

Ok. Peace.